2010

List 5 non-materialistic things your are blessed to have during 2010
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List 5 non-materialistic things you would like to change in 2011 from 2010
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No need to share them with anyone, it's just for you. I have mine! Have an Awesome beginning of a New Year!

Employment Search

Well, I vigorously search for work everyday, even on this past saturday afternoon. With my frustration on the loss of my job, I research my legal rights and read a run-on sentence that basically said that former employers can say anything they want to a prospective employer and it's okay. The only way it can be illegal is if they get caught doing it. Legally, former employers have a duty to stay within the laws during such phone calls, but they don't always. Being a college graduate, I know what the laws are and what everyone's role is, but being without work or anymore interviews, it sure makes me wonder what is being said during such phone calls. And I'm sure I'm not the only person who has the same concerns. The most frustrating part is not knowing what the wall is that is between me and possible work. I guess I need to make some phone calls of my own tomorrow to get some answers. If you can't find work and you're busting your butt on a daily basis, maybe make the same phone calls prospective employers are making! I sure hope everyone can get the answers we need. Don't look for my research results here, I doubt I will post them.

I must make note that I feel I'm only having an issue with my most recent former employer. My employers I had years ago, I still consider friends.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

My wish for this Christmas is a job.

Thanks Santa

Obesity

The issue with a large number of people who are fighting obesity is much deeper then some may think. Anxiety can be a powerful thing if not recognized. The physical cravings from anxiety are very powerful and they include refined sugars and carbohydrates. These cravings are linked to the brain in helping calm the panic enough to process thoughts again. The bad side of these cravings is that HFCS is in 99% of all processed foods. Feel free to do your own research on what HFCS does to the brain. In short, it blocks the message in the brain that tells us when we are full during a meal; therefore, we continue to eat. Anxiety moves into the picture when a person is faced with trigers, stress, or both which means the cravings start. What may surprise some is that PTSD is also part of this link between anxiety and obesity. PTSD isn't just for war vets, it happens to those who has suffered abuse within the family, violent crime, natural disasters and even injuries. Now all we need as a nation is to get the lead doctors to look at it more closely and treat it as a living breathing issue. If your wondering how I came up with this, well I was taking a shower and it hit me, like all great ideas. Seriously, if one really thinks about how these issues tie into each other, we as a nation wouldn't only become healthier physically, but mentally as well. Recognizing what the symptoms are and picking the right way to solve them and only the amount needed will be a great first move into placing control back into ones life again. Something to think about.

2 Weeks Until Christmas

Well, it's 2 weeks until christmas, busy making presents and no plans have been made. No money in the budget for a short road trip. Too many christmas movies filled with romance and laughter. This time of year everyone thinks about what should be, what shouldn't be, what can be, what can't be, etc... Me, well, it's just me and my bunnies. Meeting people to get a life outside of work is tough, takes money one can spend freely, something I don't have. I look for work everyday to expand my friends and my life. I could be a bit blue for the fact that I have no decorations up for the purity in the fact that they're in storage, but it sure saving me from having to clean them up later or feeling even more lonely then anyone person should. I'd like to think of the things I'm grateful for for having in the past 12 months. Thankful for my life has brought me both is the stress and happiness. Do I wish I still I had my job, yes. Am I thankful to free of the stress they send us home with everyday "do I still have a job?", Yes! Free of the games played that equal " 'Officer's only' in the Officer's club, no enlisted!" I was considered one of the enlisted and did the work of an Officer! Now that was messed up! My bunnies snoring brings me back into the room! I worry about ever meeting somebody who will accept me for me, he won't come knocking on the door, but it costs money to go play. So, yeah, I guess my main reason is the fact that I have no money to spend freely. If I was still working, I actually could go play this month, finally getting ahead in all my bills and have some extra each week. Just rambling! Have a good sunday!

"Because of Winn-Dixie"

Is a cute movie with kids, dogs, grumpy cops and funny dog tricks! Even Dave Matthews has a small part, yes DMB. So if your needing a break from violent, stress filled tv; this is a good movie for you. Made in 2005.

Bunnies

Sniff Sniff! (looking for morning candy bar aka baby carrot stick)



Drink Drink



Stretch Stretch (I'm napping in this position!)

Mind Control

"I'm at one of the area cell phone stores and I'm signing a 2 year contract on a cell phone that is a top seller right now. Wrote a check for the total amount needed and feeling totally at ease with the fact that I'm able to make such an improvement from my current cell phone. I'm not materialistic on any level, but the updated phone would allow me to stay in contact with volunteers who transport pets to new homes across the US and see the pictures of the pets who are being transported. I myself is also transporting animals and enjoy the company."

Real life is very different, no job yet and counting pennies. The mind control is not a dream land or wish for better things. It is a preprograming of where one wants to be today and a goal of positive changes in one life in the future.

No 2nd Interview

Well, once again, I was shown that I'm not allowed to hope for something. I was hoping for a second interview for a possible job and wasn't considered. I did everything right and still didn't get it. I asked why and he said that I didn't have enough experience and some of the others where in a better place in life. Now, I've operated my own business with success and I don't have enough experience! Go figure!? Yes, I'm bummed! It's not the only job I've applied for, but I sure had some hopes on it!

As hard as it is, I keep pushing forward. I have begun the 6-8 week waiting game on UI and the game of wondering if I will get it. I'm building a list of businesses where I can apply for jobs not only for myself but to fulfill their needs as well. What has changed in my process, not much really other then the possibility of some $ from the state that all my employers have paid in for on all my jobs.

A side note; I think my bunnies are camels in bunny outfits! They love their water bottle!

Time Schedules & Job Hunting

Well, when you have a job, you forget the time schedule of looking for another job. One needs to think about the fact that it can take as long as 2-52 weeks to secure a new job. The employer is on a schedule that is unknown even to the most experienced of job hunters. Some may hire the day they post the ad, some may take up to a couple of weeks to fill the position. I dropped my resume off at a place yesterday and was put in the reserve pile and was ghostly pushed out the door. What I mean by 'ghostly' is like having a stiff back bone and the feeling of nothing behind you but blackness aka ghostly being pushed out the door. I've had this feeling before a couple of times but chose to ignore it out of pure desperation for a job. I've even returned to these places to follow up on the fact that I dropped my resume off and had been turned away. The frustrating part about their schedule is that (not just myself) everyone doesn't always have 2 months of money put back to live on until they land a new job. In many situations, everyone is living from pay check to pay check, and I was no different. I'm Extremely Thankful to be house sitting right now or I would be in big trouble. However, my schedule doesn't have the money room that would match up with the possible employers timing. I meditate alot.

Three months later, I find I'm back on the active job hunt with brand new resumes to hand out. I completely started from scratch on my resumes, from the look to the wording and how much information I put them. I always travel to 2 different resumes, one that covers my specialty and one that covers all my job skills. I never really liked my other resumes, but didn't have the self-esteem to create them from scratch. So, with some crossed fingers and new resumes, I shouldn't be out of work for long. I can't be out of work for long, period...

Moving Forward

Angie just snuggled in for a nap in the potty and Kandi is taking a nap near by. They are silly! BTW, they are cleaner then cats! :) Okay okay, the picture doesn't show that they're neat, but they are clean. They're still getting used to the fact that I'm trying to get them to keep it neater. They're better then they were when I brought them home. Besides that area is only a quarter of their play area and rest is really clean. :)

Today is a better day. Meds help! The stress is still in place and I can look at my poor financial situation as well. All money (in checking + last 2 pay checks) comes to about $600.00. If I didn't have to spend half of that on the car, I'd have enough to pay my bills next month. Back on the job search and can finally apply for unemployment. A friend brought it to my attention that I was able to do so. However, it's up to my old job to allow it or block it; could take 6-8 weeks to see anything. Getting applications in and doing my best to land something new.

Everyone travel safe this week if you're going to grandma's house for turkey!

In Limbo Still, Gurrrrrrrr!

I'm really pissed. My desire to get on the books put me in the middle of a departmental tug-o-war and turned into, "you can't have her!" BS cost me so much more then just a job. It cost me a solid job that I could do for a couple of years and with some luck save some real cash as long as I was able to continue to live real cheap. I made some friends there, I was needed there, people where asking me questions on how to get stuff done right. I was able to run a machine almost all by myself and keep 6 people busy at 34 boxes a minute. Would I take a job over there now, no way; not after all the BS that is going on over there now.

It would be fabulous if something much better opens up for me after this. Really tired of being in limbo, especially at my age. There are people out there that are doing what they love at my age and I have no clue what my 'love' job is.

Tomorrow is another day and a good day to get my roommates used to a long car ride. The drive would do me good!

Friends

I'm finding out that I have some very cool friends and they think the world of me. There are people at the job I lost who are VERY upset that I'm gone and that makes me feel pretty good, to be missed & appreciated. Not to worry, I'm pulling a plan together to help me get back to work. I must say that it became real while I was picking up a few items from the store (like tp) that I was back to square one again.

Hope everyone has Happy Turkey Day Plans. I have a plan A & B in place, so not to worry about me. :D Friends

Update: Got news today that I was the lucky one who got out of the building.

Eggs in One Basket

Well, I've been struggling for the last 24 hours. In all my efforts to get on at my job in a permanent position, it seemed to have pissed off the lead enough for me to loose my temporary job all together and any hope of permanent job too. The job would have moved me to a different part of the building, but all I was trying to do was get on books with the company. I had my interview on thursday for the job and I shoved out the door on tuesday night. I received the call yesterday that my job had ended. I was caught so far off guard that yes I was crying. I have/had reachable goals that I could touch in a few more months and those where taken away from me. Taking a mental health day to figure out my next move and getting over the shock of the rug being pulled from me once again. I sure wish I knew what my true gift is where I can find my path and chase after it. I've tried so many things that I do enjoy and end up not making any money at them or only for a short time. There is a job industry I should be able to walk right into after doing it for 5 year, but I can't even get an interview in that industry. Is it frustrating, Yes!

Sleep

Every once in awhile I'm up at 4am and thankful for a 2nd shift job so I can get a nap before work. I lay awake in my bed for an hour until I finally just get up and quit fighting it. Now, when I do get up at some crazy hour, I can let my bunnies out of their cage let them play. I am thankful they go back to bed after an hour or so when i get home from work so I can get some sleep. I find a movie on and just chill until I get some more sleep.

Happy with my job, work really hard as a team member and put in the extra effort needed to keep everything moving.

Saw a really good movie the other day, didn't get much talk here in the US, but a good classic flick if anyone if looking for a sex free, violence free movie. "Last Chance Harvey" with Dustin Hoffman & Emma Thompson made in 2008. Worth seeing if you can find it.

Roommates

Well, my roommates have been fun so far. It takes work everyday to get them to trust me. They don't like to be handled much, but maybe with more time they will welcome being picked up some. I made a tunnel for them and they will do laps just to go through it, pretty funny. It isn't but maybe 2 feet long, but its long enough for them. They have a big play area in the living room and finally got them a rug of their own so I don't have to worry about them peeing on the carpet. I looked for a week and found a 8x10 for $35.00 today. The thrifts stores didn't have anything. They are cute!

Play Time in Yard

My New Roommates

Bunnies and More Bunnies

Well, I'm starting the process to bring home a pair of house bunnies and I can't wait to have the company. It's been pretty lonely around the house without someone to come home too. It's been (wow) 17 months today since I had to put my roommate, buddy, best friend, and road trip partner down from an injury. It's been years since I had a bunny, so I've been refreshing my memory of the do's and don't on bunny care. Tomorrow, I'm off to the pet store to buy the book I've had my eye on to help fill in the blanks. I have a feeling I will be making a few road trips around the area to find just the pair I want to bring home. So, with some luck I'll have some new roommates around halloween. Just having them will be a halloween costume!

I'm sure some of you have missed my posts and updates and silly notations. Maybe the bunnies will bring me here more often and pictures and stories.

Hope everyone is well and finding good things in the middle of bad situations.

7 Weeks

Well, my 7th week just ended at work and it's feeling pretty good. Enjoying an awesome Pete's Wicked Ale and it tastes awesome.... Found "Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid" on tv and it's fabulous! Haven't seen it in a long time and still Fabulous. They just got off the train in Bolivia, Mexico and a bit surprised to say the least. My beer is putting me to sleep, guess I'm off! Everyone have a great weekend!

Birthday's

What do they mean to you? Do you think about what you've done over the past 12 months? Do you make a few goals each year? Do you take the day off from work? Do you go to work? Do you make sure everyone knows it's YOUR Birthday and you're the King or Queen for the day? Or do you hide and keep your single day a year that you can call Yours to yourself?

If it's your birthday, Happy Birthday!

Saturday, Day of Rest

Saturday so far is my designated as my day off. It takes me all day to physically recharge after working ass off all week. Today it was after 4pm when I finally had some go juice again. It's amazing how long I drag on saturday. Coffee is a must and never seems to make enough and what ever left overs I may have feed me through the day.

Today, I spent 4 hours in the 'chair' scanning Petfinder online. So many pets and a few possibles. What's keeping me from getting one is lack of cash to fund one and a place to live. But I sure do want a dog in my life. Time will tell on that one, hopefully sooner then later. But I have to save some money, work it into my budget and land a place where I can have a pet. So, again, time will tell.

Saturday are good days. :D

I Love Direct Deposit

I awoke this morning and found my checking account to be thicker then it was yesterday. WOW, it is so nice to have money appear in my account on a regular basis.

Work is going pretty well. We have a bunch new people and some of them are true individuals (such as myself) and some who haven't worked in years. A few want to discuss religion and that is a nono to make friends on any job. Talking about religion and politics can get heated pretty quickly. So, it's not boring and it's a good thing that I can laugh at stress instead of fall into the heated conversations. Me, when I see someone who has a pouty face on and if I know them, I come up with the right funny to get them laughing. Sometimes, I just change my face expression and some I just come up with the right comment to get them laughing.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

Update

Well, our crew got a bit thinner this week. We lost a lady on friday due to too much drama caused by her kids and was forcing her to bring it into work. When her mind was on the job, she worked her butt off. The other person we lost was the guy who everyone was complaining about, he walked off of what the boss asked him to do and was sent home on wednesday. It was a few hours before everyone realized that it was quieter and everyone was getting our share of work done without being held back. One of the lady's I work with from time to time gave me a compliment about how much work we got done in 2 hours. There are times with the right group of people we can kick out some serious numbers. We kick 1st shifts butt pretty good some days. Especially when they leave us their mess to clean up. It is nice to kick their butts every other night. :)

Exhausted & It's Payday

It's still sinking in that I have a job and money coming in. I get paid every friday and soon it will be direct deposited and will just appear in my bank. I'm exhausted today and glad it's friday and it's pay day. I'm discovering how out of shape I was when I started this job, because muscles I never knew I had hurt every night. I am building muscles in my shoulders and my feet aren't complaining as much. The calories I burn on the job are subtle and constant and at times more excessive, all depending on what is going on. Yeah, it feels good to be working again.

What Lays Ahead Today?

My confidence is shaken and not sure why, maybe it's just pms. I'll probably crawl into a shell for work to keep me safe.

Update After Work: Well, I got to work and was grrrummpy but concealing it as well as I could. I don't hide my expressions very well, through years of being expressive. I was off by myself for the first 3 hours and it went ok. The quality control guy (old hippy) cheered me up. I soon started to come up with things to think about that made me smile. Soon, my boss told me where I was going after lunch and that cheered me up too. Soon, my night was looking up. It wasn't long before I was laughing with everyone else.

The other nice thing is my body isn't hurting nearly as bad as it was. I'm building muscles I don't remember every having before. lol. Some nights my muscles between my shoulders talking, some nights my butt muscles are talking, some nights I'm just flat cooked all around. I think I've lost some weight, but not sure how much. They have a scale (and even showers) at my work, I might check it tomorrow.

Hopefully tomorrow is a much better day.

Be Kind, There is More Then What in on the Surface

When you come upon a person who seems driven or pushy, they actually are driven to get back into the swing of things. They're pushy out of pure desperation to get back into the swing of things. They want to be apart of something important, they want to work as a team, they want to be as important as the person they're working next too. All of us have this need, even people I'm working work. There are some (even myself) who are misunderstood and who only want to make it in life. Some who are driving cars that cost 40k at the age of 21 who are clinging to material items and some who who just want to eat everyday. Are we different in our dreams, definitely, but all of us are driven. Everyone is different and everyone wants to work.

I doing my best to follow this advice myself. Everyone is misunderstood on some level. Personally, I'm desperate to be heard and valued on the job. I bust my ass every night and I feel it every night I come home.

Update after shift: It was a good evening, got some work done but still feel like I'm on shaky ground. If I get a chance tomorrow, maybe I'll will see if there is something I can do better. Having plenty of gatorade in the frig helped me get through the night.

Not Settling, But Settling In

It sure is nice to be working and getting used to this work and schedule. I do like the people I work with and makes it so worth while to go to work everyday. Getting used to working after 2 years of looking for a solid job will take some time. Everyone have a good week.

More Food Required For Work

Well, the fact that I don't have to spend hours on the net everyday searching and applying for job and looking for a place to live is just now starting to sink in. This morning, realizing that some of my bookmarks are no longer in the primary position for a few months.

What I've learned is that I must have a lunch before shift that is full of fuel to get me to 6pm and I have to take a dinner that is also full of fuel to get me until 11pm. I'm moving full speed ahead from 3pm to 11pm and running low of fuel half way through my shift is costly. It makes it for me to pull even my own weight at 125%, which is what I need to do for 8 straight hours. Friday night about 8pm, I ran down to about 80% and trust me it showed to everyone else. That little bit of energy loss does make a huge difference on this job. So, big healthy lunches and big healthy dinners are musts on this job.

I guess skimping on my food budget isn't allowed anymore. With that total budget change, I guess I have to change my cell bill. That is the only thing I can change. The OT next month and in November will help fill in the gaps and put more towards my cc bill.

Updated Budget
Rent & Utilities $350
Fuel & Insurance $200
Groceries $275-300
Storage Rent $35 (until I find a place for all my stuff)
Cell, Net & Email (2b changed) $175
Bad Debt $200
Grand total $1260

I could lower my cell about $40 and I can shop as diligent as before to keep the food in my house but not at the price listed above. That will have to be enough.

2 Weeks in & a New Place to Live

Well, its saturday and it was nice to sleep in a place that I can call (almost) mine. Fresh air, a good beer last night to end the week and some coffee this morning. My landlord is pretty cool, he has more tv's then I've seen in a long time and all of them are plugged into cable (directv on tuesday). I even have one and its a 36 inch and enjoying a John Wayne Marathon today. Cahill is on now. :) Work went okay this week. I over did it on thursday which cost me last night. Everyone is pretty good about working as a team, but there is one kid who hasn't figured that part out yet. I was doing my work, helping out in another area and having to do half of his work too. The lady who was working along side me went home sick from exhaustion. My back was hurting pretty good yesterday and last night I was close to tears from the exhaustion. I felt bad about my being short to a couple of my team members, so I apologized, that is how tired I was last night. I haven't worked that hard in years and it finally caught up to me. The boss put him into jobs where no one had to wait for him to catch up. I pull my weight plus some, not much room to spare to take care of another persons job on top of that too. Hopefully, I won't have to over extend myself any time soon, that hurt.

A Place to Live

Well, with some great luck and ol' word of mouth, I found a place to live. It's less then I budgeted, which is cool. Hope everyone have a good day.

The Budget

Rent & Utilities (max) $400.00
Cell, Internet & Email $175
Bad Debt $200 (desired $300)
Fuel & Insurance $200
Groceries $200
Grand monthly total $1175.00
Monthly net $1130 (estimated)
As I get my three $.25 raise every 30 days (first 3 months), food will become more of a pleasant thing in my house.

The goal here is to live within walking distance or ride a bike and that will reduce my fuel by half. My other goal is to get my bad debt paid down. If I can find a nice place for my future roommate and myself in a place where it's doesn't hurt and takes a load off of me, that would be a good thing. He has high standards of his residence and to be honest, I want to live in a really nice place too. I've lived in cheap dumps for so long to save on cash, that I'm over it now. I've looked and looked for a really cheap place to live and a roommate is my only option. Plus, once I get used to the schedule, I can looked for something to put me to work one day a week.

Here we go!

Update 12:25pm; my possible roommate just backed out, so I'm back on my own. It could be a blessing in disguise, but it shakes the ground some.

I'm liking August 2010

Well, the month of August has some doors opening for me. Work is going pretty well, still getting used to it. Working with some really nice people and we get some laughs in. Meet with a possible roommate today and we looked at a few places today. We found one that he loved, but I didn't feel comfy with, but I may have found a place he will like as long as we can get into an apartment next weekend. We're trying to get into a place next weekend. Look at a few more tomorrow. He works mornings and I work evening, so that works out pretty good for us both. He's a nice guy and we could even get along as roommates; only seeing each other on the weekends. How perfect is that?

I have a Job, I have a Job!

Sorry for taking so long to let everyone know. It's still sinking in. I start this afternoon and is scared. I work second shift, which is cool. I like having my morning free. I haven't done this work in 12 years and feeling old this morning, but I know for a fact that I'm not the oldest on the job. Physically, I may be. Some legal pain killers will be had today. Have a good tuesday.

Road Trip Report

Well, they are never the same trip even thought its the same road and sometimes even the same hours. The trip down was an easy one, not much happening, made it in 8 hours (390 miles). Made my call to the rain gods to give me dry roads after dark and they did for all but 25 miles. Reached the east side of Wolf creek and the highway sign said the road was closed and to pick a different route. I was like "oh hell!" so I pulled off to see what my next move was and there was more traffic coming down heading east. So, I thought I would see how far I would get before they would turn me around. Well, at the base of the west side on the lower part of the "S" turn I discovered the reason, 911 services were dealing with an over turn semi. It looked like he was going too fast on that curve and hit the wall head on. No word on the driver's conditions. Pulled into a nice warm bed at 1am while watching an awesome lightening show going in Utah before hand.

Slept until late and discovered how quickly I die when I reach my destination and have a bed to curl up on. I got what I needed to get done, without much extra juice. Thank you for a hot shower, a place to get my laundry done and squishy bed, oh and easy net access.

About 21 hours after I arrived, I'm pulling out and heading back. This trip required more stops to get 2 hour naps. I have pictures from this morning clouds game and I'll load them later. Its been while since I've done any pictures. This trip also showed me that YES my car needs a visit at the doc's, going from 47 mpg to 31 mpg on the highway is a REAL OUCH. The same 165 miles on the earlier last month only used 3.5 gallons of gas, this morning it used 5 gallons of gas. Anyway, there is a very real reason why I drive at night, because people are A'Holes on 285 during the day. No One, No One wants to follow anyone no matter how fast the person in front is going. I was locked in at 68 in a 65 and wasn't fast enough for those who wanted to risk getting a fancy speeding ticket going 75 or even 80. We're talking some serious passing, dangerous and deadly. One lady was real close to getting into a head on because she had to be first. Now, if she wasn't tail gating everyone, the ones she was trying to pass may have let her back over sooner. She got in, but it took her a few miles to bounce out of that one. No Manors on that one! I also tend to stop more during the day, tired of fighting everyone. Got to the city about 14 hours after I pulled out.

All this to pick up a 2nd form of ID for tomorrow morning. Back in my parking lot with some rain falling and keeping an eye out for the food van. Free dinner! I even have a view of the mountains. Much rather have rain then 100 degrees. Wow, I may have a job tomorrow.

Different Zip Code This Morning

Well, my hard work may have paid off yesterday. I got a call asking me to be at an orientation on monday @ 9am with 2 forms ID. Well, I starting thinking about that and it sounds like I may have a job. I will know for sure on monday and it would be a great relief to me to have a job finally. And all of you who have gotten tired of reading my depressing blogs and listen to me bitch about this and that. Sorry, it is unhealthy for me to hold it all in and not vent. So at 4pm, I pulled out of the big town and headed sw and made good time. I had to make a run down here because I left other forms of ID in storage, people get robbed in the city and everything else can be replaced. So, with my last $100, I took a chance and drove down here to pick up what I need to get on 2nd shift this week.

I know that many of you who really know me will be very surprised to hear that I may have found a place where like-minded people gather a couple times a week. While I'm in my storage today, I'm going to see if I can find a couple of my books I've had for a number of years that are used at these gathering.

I decided yesterday that having too much time on my hands to think about stuff is really bad for us all. I'm naturally a deep thinker anyway, but even I was getting way to deep into things.

Everyone have a good saturday.

It's Friday

Well, slept okay and found a place to shower. If you're wondering how I always seem to have battery power on my computer, it's because on one of my road trips I bought a small 100watt roadpro power converter at a truck stop. Best $40 spent in a long time. I don't 'charge' my computer unless I'm going someplace, but sometimes I have to plug it in and turn the ignig key on so I can finish something. Poor thing hasn't had a full charge is a couple of weeks.

Everything in storage, what I need in my car and job hunting. So, I guess that just makes me jobless, not homeless; but days like thursday I feel like both and 10 times more. Up with the sun, ready to go before anything is open and then find I'm waiting around to get stuff done. Strange how we loose drive in the 1 or 3 hours we're waiting for offices to open. I can see why there are so many people who just give up. The difference in schedule. The homeless pull full days of searching, etc and those with homes and jobs only spend part of the day. Not trashing those with homes and jobs, just observing the differences in the schedule. Let me add that I know people who are up before the sun working so they can play later in the day.

Not sure this is good for me, I sure do spend a lot more time thinking about everything.

Its friday and lots going on this weekend. Maybe enjoy form free festivals going on.

New Day

Well, got some sleep and packing car up with all my things this morning. We'll see what the day brings.

PM. I figure after yesterday, it would be good of me to let you know that I'm okay. Reaching out to the county recourses available in hopes to keep me afloat. Got permission to use a physical address up here to put it on my job applications and it was strange putting it on the jobs I applied for today, but we'll see if it helps. Was told of one of the places that is safe to park and that is where I'm at now. Had to move out of the campground, can't afford it anymore. Watching a few families figure out what to do next, one of them driving a Audi TT Quattro. They went so far as to build a HUGE outside kitty pen for their kitty. It's a hike to the potty, but no one will mess with us here. I was told that the cops even roll by to make sure we're okay. Instead of buying dinner, I waited around for my head ache to pass and one of the local outreach programs came by with a bag dinner for everyone who wanted one. Yea, I too one and was pleased to find fresh grapes hiding in the bottom of the bag. The more people talk too about the job market, the more say its bad where I'm currently trying to find work. I guess They haven't looked outside of the area for work, like where I'm from. I checked it again today and there is very little for women to do, but lots for guys to do. This is interesting to say the least.

Mr President, where is the help for those of us who don't get unemployment and only want to work. Why are so many companies Requiring a complete credit check in today's economy when some of them look like doodoo. Please ask the big companies to make it Not a requirement when we apply for work and they're can legally deny us jobs simply by our credit score alone.

It will be good sleeping tonight, had a nice rain today, cooled everything off. The trick in the morning is searching out a cheap or free shower so I can be clean for my duties tomorrow.

Haven't Done This Yet

I haven't really vented, yelled and screamed on here yet. I discovered that I must be internalizing my stress more then I thought, because on inspection of my finger nails this morning, I found that the quick has literally pulled away from the nail on 3 fingers. For the first time in my life, I'm facing having no insurance on my car and that is REALLY scary. I've been trying so hard to stop calling my dad for help, I have never enjoyed it. I really don't know what I'm suppose to do to get a job. I mean, I have 5 years in the coffee business from serving coffee to running the business and I can't get a job. Quick math shows that the Baristas make more then the managers do if you include the tips (at the last job I put in for). I'm single, no kids, reliable (& reliable car), good work ethics and my resumes goes into the trash at 90% of the jobs I've applied for. The other 10% are the calls in get to come in for a job interview. So far, I've experienced the main reason for not getting a job is for not living in the town I'm applying for. I don't have a house or car payment, but my basic living expenses. Everything I could pay for with my last paycheck from taxes paid all the bills I could to put them off until August 1st. Well, August 1st is Sunday. Keeping my car legal on all fronts will cost me about $1,000 in August and September. Forget rent, gas, food, etc... I've been trying really hard to keep positive and push forward everyday, but there are somedays where reality hits me in the face like a mack truck. I'm extremely thankful to my lady who is paying me to help her pack her house, that is keeping me afloat as far as campground fees, gas & food. None left over to put aside and I've been forced to eat into my stash of cash some as well. I've been out here over 60 days and not feeling very successful. All the money I had/have waiting for me in the sw is either not going to come or will not come until they feel good and ready. So, that alone is telling me I have no financial future in the sw; no one wants to pay for jobs or no one gives a shit or no one as any money. I think I have to move out of my campground tomorrow out of the purity of being broke again. I'm almost forced to find a coffee job now, just so I can take the deduction on my taxes, the money spent on this deal is sick. All I want to do is cry, this sucks so bad.

Later on. As I was driving to my house packing job, some fucking guys not paying attention, using their mirrors much less the signal started to move into my lane right where I was at, it wasn't until I was standing on my horn did they even look and THEY flipped me off. Piss me off. That pushed me over the edge today. I was within inches of getting my car trashed by some dumb shits moving into my lane. I couldn't go anyplace, I had people to my left and behind me. When I got to my packing job, I had quit crying but she could see I was not having a good morning. So, we're going to catch up this afternoon. I drove by the homeless shelter to see if I could talk to one of the mental health counselors, but they don't answer the door or phone from 10-4pm. I'm too beat up to get anything productive done today.

Even later. Here are a couple of things I saw today to show that even thought I'm falling apart at the seams. While waiting at a light, I was looking down a street into a mobile home park and saw a deer standing between 2 cars looking for someplace to go. It was a nice sight, to simply see one. The other thing was seeing what happens when you don't pay rent. An eviction notice in action, everything in the house was on the front lawn. Ooops! I know I'm not the only one who is having a hard time, but we all have our days, even me. My friend is taking me to her church tonight, it sounds like the right one for me. So, we'll see.

Much much later... :) Church was interesting. Can't decide on one visit, time will tell. Night all. Thanks for bearing with me today. I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

In Need of Everyone's Positive Thoughts

You remember the first interview I had a week ago friday, the one where the guy never called me back. Well, I just applied for his JOB!!! Starting salary @ 26k. Full Time! The same company I had an interview for on July 16th.

Frustrated

I don't want a bs job. I want a job where I can like what I'm doing, because I'm no good to anyone if i hate my job. I don't tend to hide it well. The jobs I loose for silly stuff, the more frustrated I get. I'm tired, beat-up and all I want to do it cry. I've been at this for 2 years and can't seem to find the right mix. I know I'm one in a couple of million who are just like me (or in much worse shape), but it doesn't make me feel any better. Paid for a couple nights at my campground to get me rewired and hope for the best tomorrow.

My car is starting to stress me out. Had a Nissan tech guy listen to my fan and he said the motor could be going out on it. If I turn the interior fan off, I get 25 mpg; if it's on "1" setting I get getting 35/42 mpg; a difference of 55/94 miles on 5.5 gals. Scared to run it, can't afford to not run it. The only way they can fix it is by pulling out the glove box and the labor hours add up right there. I checked, it's not under warrantee, never was. The last time my car had a full check-up was at 25,000 miles, at 55k now. Not neglecting my car, been too broke to get it into the doctor and believe me, me no like that much. Every time I live in the sw, my cars don't get the $$$ attention I've always given them elsewhere.

Everyone have a good sunday.

Wrong Address

I didn't get the job because I don't have the right address. Staying 15 minutes away is too far from the store. They hired people who are a few blocks away. This the same fucking problem I was facing in the sw and now I'm facing it here. This totally BLOWS!!!!!!!!!

I Can Not Fucking Believe I'm Still On The Job Hunt!! I didn't get my hopes up, but I was 95% sure I had that job! I swear this stress and total BS will push someone to drink or quit all together or both. I'm so pissed!

Has More Promise

Well, I just had another job interview and this one went way better then the last one. The managers and the owner were there and it had a better feel to it. I would be a shadow employee for a few weeks, all paid and paid 'training' tomorrow night. I get my tips at the end of each shift and not on my pay check. The real shift hours would start next month, but I would get some shift starting next week. BIG SMILEY FACE!!!!!!!! They are zero waste and all their stuff is HFCS Free! The owner made an extra note that he will call me either way, I asked him to please do, and he reinforced that he would. Keep fingers crossed!

Time to go play in the water. My moving lady doesn't need me for a few more hours.

Good Day

Yesterday was an overall pretty good day. Got my laundry done, had an awesome lunch at Bread, got to work a few hours and treated myself to an aged steak and IPA, which was way Yummy.

It's about the little things in life.

Finally!!!

I finally got him on the phone about the job and he totally lied to me. He said that an old employee returned and they're going to hold all resumes. Let me explain why I used such harsh words, he was fumbling around before he said about the old employee and the more he got into it, the more he felt better about it. He was given a job he doesn't have the skin for, so it's easier for him to avoid it all together. It took an email to him boss to get him to answer the phone. Well, I knew I didn't get it, but it really bugged me that he didn't hold up his end of the deal by calling me on sunday. In truth, I'd rather support and work for small independent coffee shops anyway.

Dyslexia Is Fun

I just reread some of my posts and finding little mistakes along the way. All I can do it laugh, because they're so silly and minor. I always read over them about 3 or 4 times before posting and read again once posted, correct anything missed and repost. And one silly wrong key gets through no matter what. The system does turn red if something is spelt wrong, but if the word is correct, but not in context, I don't always see it. Well, I guess I have to make you work a little hard to figure out what I was trying to say when is is used in place of it or if. Or out instead of our, then again our instead of out. Confused yet? Too funny!

Still Waiting

Ya, you read it right, I'm still waiting to hear. I called him this morning, left a message and he has not returned my call. I emailed His Boss curious to hear the out come and reasons for not hiring me. I really need to know so I can fix it (didn't tell the boss that). Especially when he said without me asking "I'll call you either way on sunday!"

I have a new friend and that makes life so much better.

Me prefer to camp and sleep in my tent with showers close by and able to cook my own dinner for a fraction of the price to buy something somebody else made. Last night, I had my stir fry minus the beer and peanut sauce. Oh Well! A single uncooked boneless chix breast and a bag of frozen veggies was $2.50 :) and it was enough food for 2 and I ate ALL of IT!

The job helping someone pack has turned into something to keep me busy most of week and already paid for the hours I've done. If my math is correct, I got more then first offered, and I won't complain one minute. In fact it's enough to house me for 5 more days without spending mine to do it. That is VERY COOL! HUGE stress relief!

Camping

Well, I couldn't stand sleeping in my car one more night so I checked out a campground I found on the net. Its not only cheap, but I may have made a friend to boot. I get to sleep in my tent tonight. Yippy, a good nights rest. They even have a doggy named Ryle and he's a good doggy. I can't tell you why they're camping but it would blow your mind and its not thru job loss. I can't even hint about what happened but keep them in your thoughts as well.

I feel better, camping tonight, tomorrow will start out better. If I can keep from being the mosquitos steak tonight.

Still Waiting

This waiting is really bugging me out. Sure would like some news about this job. Starting the self pitty stuff. Slept in my car again last night.

Yesterday was fun. Watched grown men scream like little girls over a 3 foot falls on the creek yesterday. Most staying on the tub, some leaning too far back and getting flipped over & coming screaming because it's COLD. Yesterday was crazy busy, mostly because it was HOT, even for Boulder's standards.

The main attraction at the creek!


Tubers floating down the river, dogs and kids at play on the bank, 4 guys playing really great music on their drums across the river, and under a tree with their own private beach was a momma duck and 5 duckies. It was an overall pretty nice afternoon. Later in the day, I can't forget about the freedom to inhale or not to inhale mother earth's weed being smoke across the river bank!



A promise of a job and a start date would allow me to get a room so I can get some real sleep.

Art Festival

Just checked out the Art Festival on Pearl and some of the most fabulous artist have their work on display & for sale. If you're ever in Boulder this weekend in the summer time, you can't miss the Art Festival and bring lots of money. Saw some of the most beautiful pieces of art work for sale as high as $8k and Oh so worth it.

People drinking lots of cold drinks and even some coffee (eak) and going without sunscreen. Lots of sick people tonight! I'm doing my best to stay cool. Eating salty chips, lots of gatorade and a new cool rap around my neck. Finally broke down and bought a real OR hat, tired of going without. And yeap, even dogs in toe with their tongue dragging behind them. That makes me CRAZY!

Where to sleep

Morning, there is nothing more discouraging then having to sleep in my car because all campgrounds are full and hotels take a weeks worth of food from my budget. Gurrrrrrr! I got 6 hours and an awesome shower at rec center.

The weather people are calling for 100+ today, keep the pets at home to enjoy the AC while you go play out in the heat or forced to work in it.

Have a good saturday

Fingers Crossed with some fairy dust!

Just left my interview for a possible job. This franchise has been in business longer then Starbucks and thats good with me. I won't know for a couple of days if I get the job, so keep your fingers crossed. I checked on a job I found yesterday and there may be a few hours there, helping someone pack to move. If anyone who really knows me, knows I have plenty of experience in that. :)

Moved out of my campground this morning and will figure our residence later. That place is really nice and shady and a bit expensive, but I need to save on cash a bit. It will be hot today and realllllllly hot tomorrow, so I'll have to find something nice and shady. Shade is the key.

My cute wittle car is starting to make noises, the dash fan seems to be off balance or needs some adjusting, because it noisy and it's vibrating the whole front end of my car. Not too bad, but enough for me to notice once I've turned it off. Me no like! It's 3 years old with 54,000 miles on it.

Yea, TGIF!

What is out there?

As I sit on a bench in the east window at the library, over looking the entrance and the parking lot, I can really observe the people that live in Boulder and use this building. There are numerous homeless, carrying their belongs in their backpacks, driven to get on the web to look for work, email family and see what the day looks like. Some of them have been able to get showers and some not so lucky. All the while I set here and search the web for jobs myself. Can't forget the daily visit from 'LePew' emptying the porta potty in the parking lot. No story telling today, guess I got here after they finished; the lower level is the kiddy area. A few lucky pooches get to come in the library too, it is Boulder after all.

Heat & Rain

Well, the summer heat brings afternoon rains. It finally rained on my tent, it was interesting to see how well it did. Like my little tent. My stuff in my tent is dry, I'm happy abut that. Cooled things right off, good sleeping tonight.

Today was okay, got some work done, but the printer messed up my resumes. I was reimbursed for them and they made copies of them and the copies look like doodoo, so not useable. I was frustrated and hungry, so I left. I'll start over tomorrow. Applied for a few jobs via net, but don't feel very successful today.

Met a couple of nice low key guys at my campground doing a 4 month tour around the US and Mark is driven. He has a real point! Check out his website: www.jobcreation.us & at facebook its "job creationus".
Check it out.

By this time last night, I was in lala land. More like asleep for 2 hours by now. I was beat yesterday, being up all night takes it out of you. My brain goes to a different place for night drives and I can drive for hours, sometimes I usually have to stop someplace so I can rest until I get some sleep. It's like it knows it's roadtrip time, sorta like Kaci did when I was starting the slow process to pack for the trip days and days in advance.

Not much to report. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Night Driving is Stress Free for me...

Well, got to Kenosha at 6am and waiting for the sun to come up, giving my car a break and chilling. If there was cell service up here, I’d have it made.

Let’s see, pulled out at 9:45pm and discovered it’s up hill all the way to the top of Wolf creek. Took 3 hours to reach the gas stop and got 47.2 mpg on the stretch. (Big Smiley Face)!!!

At the base of wolf creek on the east side, I found myself swerving around stuff in the road. Not talking little stuff, talking stuff big enough to trash anything that hit it. The only way to get around this stuff would to drive on the shoulder or down the middle of the road. So, I drove down the middle then turned around to clean it up. What I found is that someone will find they’re missing a side entrance door on a horse trailer, about 10 brushes, a bit, a saddle blanket and other misc. I heard a big truck coming, so I cleared the eastbound side first and finished up westbound side. By the time he got to where I was at, all he knew was I was getting ready to turn around. There was some kind of shelf attached to the door that lifted one side up about 8 inches, which would have caused all the real damage. I wanted to get it cleared so fast it never occurred to get a picture first. Oh well! I saved someone(s) a couple grand in repairs this morning. It would have been pretty ugly! It looked like they had the door locked open and they blew a tire and the tread tore the door right off. It had to have been a dually, because they would noticed everything when they pulled off to change the tire.

Hanging at the edge of city checking the web for a campground that isn't booked this weekend. It's suppose to reach 98 today, so I really want to get settled in in the next hour or so. Tired now, only an hour sleep sense yesterday. Most of this was written earlier then pasted here just now.
***********
It's after noon and I checked into a campground I've stayed at before high in the hills to escape the heat today. I even have an ok signal from my table here. Tent is up and a hard nap taken. Thinking back on my drive last night it was a good one. Even got to take care of some driver who never would have seen the mess in the road if somebody was coming at them.

LD

AKA Learning Disability, which includes Dyslexia among others. A buddy (who about 12) made an very interesting observation today. She asked if LD is the problem and our brains are actually working faster to get the information then most but takes longer to figure it out. So are we actually faster or slower learners?



Thinking!!!!!!!



After much thought about it, my answer was we're faster but more methodical about the information we receive. What do you think?

Read me

Thank you! Have an Awesome Sunday!

edited (added) on 7-12-10
The counter was at triple-6 and wanted to get away from that number. lol

Everyone have a great week! Look for more posts. Hugs

"Nights in Rodanthe"

I've been wanting to see this movie when it first came out and finally got to today. FABULOUS! I love Diane's movies. She sure does pick great movies to get me moving. Thanks for dong another one Diane.

My Rant on the National Unemployment Rate

There is no mention of those of us who are not on any kind of unemployment or even have the option to apply for it. We've been looking for work for the last 2 years as well. Wonder what the numbers would be then if the rest of us where added to the 'national unemployment rate'. Some areas depend on the improvement of the housing market to create jobs and some areas depend on tourist dollars to create jobs. When neither are doing much, everyone hurts beyond measure and not added to the national rate.

I've never been one to think that job security was a living breathing thing; working in one field used to be the norm, but not for everyone. Some want change, learn new things and to the employers, they may see it as someone who isn't stable, which isn't always the case. Here lately, the hang-up can be as simple as not having the right address on the resume when looking elsewhere for work. Without a local address, the resume may not even get read. 90% of the time, a person needs a job in the area they are looking to relocate before they can even find a place to live; proof of employment required (or cash up front)! Stuck and want to get unstuck and can't. Then we see dad's and/or mom's with 4 kids holding a sign on the street corner begging for work so they can feed the kids.

It used to be where if you walked into a business and asked for a job, there were high chances you would get hired. Now, they want a resume and will call if they like you and don't call them. Times have changed! In the 90's, there was work everywhere, anyone could get it they wanted it. The new century brought it a different song, high job loss and less money to be made. I was even forced to close my business early in this century, because cash flow slowed down. I'm not one to blame past or present Presidents, but they haven't done much to help us out either. Now there are those who hate our current lead man, but he is doing his best to get the dollar rolling again. I've spent some time in the city and the money is flowing, from some people more then others, but it is there.

Last I heard this is a great nation, a nation we can be proud of, and I am. However, the guys/gals who are the sweat behind the big guys/gals are probably being seen as peons, nothing, (forgive me) cheap slave labor. I have the Greatest respect for all who are burning the sweat to provide for their families. Some of the greatest workers who are sometime seen as 'in the way' are those big trucks & drivers out on our highways at all hours of the day. Each and everyone of them is the blood and oxygen in our nation. If they all stopped driving even for 24 hours, everything we know to have on a daily basis would come to a complete and utter halt. It would take weeks to get things back to normal. Just like it does for someone who has had a heart attack, it takes some time before they're back on their feet again. Yet, everyone wants quick results on everything concerning our economy so we can get back to where we were during the 90's. Well folks, this is a new century, we can't go back!. We have to find a way to move forward and get everyone working again and punish those who exploit us and our environment for some quick cash.

Now for my unasked opinion about our filthy rich CEO's & other high executives who are literally living off our blood. Tear down those big nasty energy sucking homes and built something green at no more then 2500 square feet, give up 90% of your income and feed & rehouse these families you have forced out of their homes and put them on the street. We don't have to be a nation of Stuff, we can lower our imports and get back to basics. Retool unused factories back to steele, furniture, and the stuff that is used to create those items needed. Encourage smaller needs to feed the whole family and maybe the whole neighborhood. We as a nation did it for Years and we can do it again. Let's get back to basics so we can pay all our debts, foreign and domestic. With these changes, we can actually put people back to work and lower the known & unknown numbers of unemployed out there.

Let's Have a Parade

Pretty Girls!


Everyone is invited to join!


Lost in the crowd!


No Beer Belly Guys here!

A Few Views of My Childhood

Match Made in Heaven

Night Driving

Driving late at night has so many advantages. For starters, I'm the only one out there for what seems like miles. There is the occasional semi and car, but nothing like traffic during the day. During the day, the stretch from Del Norte to Durango can take up to 3-4 hours, I did it last night in 2 hours doing 60 all the way, expect where posted less. The east side of the pass showed evidence of a wet spring with numerous slides, all of which closing the road until clean up was completed. Normally, I can get from Boulder to Grant in an hour and 10 minutes, yesterday it took 2 hours. Thus the reason for waiting at my stopping point until later on. Got a great 2 hour nap in. Once I woke up, I watched the traffic for a a few to see how thick it was at 6pm and it was back to normal, so I headed out. Pulled into home town at 2:30am, started out at 12:30pm, with 6 hours of various breaks along the way. Driving at night allows me to think, where driving at day forces me to avoid assholes on the road who have to be first at any cost. Driving at night isn't without its issues, one fool pulled out to pass the car in front of him with NO clue how close I was coming at him. I went from 68 to 35 in a short period of time to avoid dying, I wasn't too happy about it. Those driving big fancy vehicles really do think they own the road. So, those driving a road at night for the first time ever, if you aren't sure, Don't Do It! all-in-all, it was a nice drive once the everyone stopped for the evening. There are more chances to see different wild life at night, I saw 7 deer, one skunk, a what could have been a fox. Kept my eyes out for some elk, but didn't see any. One deer jumped across the road and went for what he thought was flat ground, when he fell about 5 feet into the ditch. It took him a second to get back on his feet, but he continued on. Not much else to report about my travels.

Update

Well, moved out of hotel this morning and on my way back to sw. The roller coaster on the local route was putting me to sleep, so I pulled over for a break. This kind of sleep coffee is no help. Good thing I left when I did, the rv's are right behind me. I have a planned stopping point in abut 20 miles, if I can make it! I didn't get much sleep last night, only abut 6 hours. I figure to get some sleep and head out when its lonely out there. Have no plans is playing with half the state tomorrow. I got a call from one of my job apps and they said they're going to look at the resumes for positions I applied for next week. Which is good. So we'll see!

What is the issue?

From 1988 to 2003, I worked and fully supported myself. Now, I can't get an interview. I have a college education and haven't been able to put it to work. I've been looking for a decent job for the past 2 years and nothing. I worked a minimum wage job for a short time and got robbed at gun point. I'm a lousy waitress. I'm a skilled Barista. I'm an okay tax agent. I'm a safe Valet. A Tip job is what I have to have right now so, I can live day to day. I've improved my resume, walked into businesses and asked for job, applied via email, walked in and left my resume to show I'm serious at locations running ads. NOTHING, no response of any kind. I've done everything I can and nothing. Hell yes, I'm down in the dumps, I'm broke and not a single job offer coming my way. I look and apply for jobs everyday, either in person or over the net (when they want it that way) and nothing. This really sucks!

A frozen breakfast burrito and a cup of coffee later, feeling a bit better.

I welcome any ideas or possible reasons to lack of responses to all the hard work I've put in. Meanwhile, I need to start packing.

How Do I ?

Well, I checked one of net sites again today (several times a day) and saw that one of the jobs I applied for on friday has been re-added. Do I go back and reapply for the job or move on? They never even called me. I don't know what to do? This is so frustrating.

Fixed "Comment As" Issues

Hi Gang, I finally found out how to fix the "comment as" issues. What a pain in the butt! It will appear as a pop up now. Sorry it took so long for me to get it fixed.

I Need Help

I've been actively looking for work for the past 3 weeks and no job offers yet. Been looking for 2 years really. Really Hard for the last 3 weeks. I have $60 in my checking account and my cc has enough room incase I have to go back to the doctor. Panic has set in today. I've revamped my resume, changed my process a dozen times and done everything I'm suppose to do. Yesterday was an awesome day, finally got a full nights sleep last night, and today I'm dragging on the floor. Whether or not I have a job, I'm out of my hotel on thursday. At first I thought the rash on my fingers was from too much sun on friday, but its getting worse, so I think it's from the stress. My ear is feeling better, which is a huge relief. I can either eat this week or drive to the 4-corners and check my mail with the money I have left. I need help

Just Love Good Days

Today was a good day. Got a great look at the bus system today and the light rail system. Found out that one job that I was applying for is a month away from starting, but I left my stuff anyway. The other one involves a sharp looking black uniform with a green tie (for the guys) and I would love to get a chance at that job, even if its part time. I even got about 3 miles of walking in today. Tired! Now, all together today I took 4 busses and 2 trains to get to both jobs. Each one of those was about 50 minutes each.

TMJ

Saturday morning and getting my day figured out. Thursday I started to struggle with my left ear, it was hurting and that alone was bothering me. I found one of those quick stop clinic places and had them check it for me. He said that its not an infection, but build up of fluids. Well, ear pain is ear pain. So, some decongestant to help dry up my head. I do a hot rag on my ear twice a day to help it drain some and a lot of tugging on the lobe. It's not putting me down, but doesn't let me forget that I have an issue there. He said that my TMJ is bad enough where as I get older, I may have more issues in the future. Time will tell on that one.

99 degrees

Wow, I forgot what 99 degrees feels like. Especially 99 degrees in the concrete canyon. Ooh Boy! I managed to get two things done today, planned to done. Doesn't sound like much, but it took 4 hours, especially by local shuttle. So glad I didn't drive today! Cooler tomorrow, I should be able to get more done. An hour in the heat trying to find my way, drinking liquids, I was fading fast. The sun was starting to eat away at my insides, I was getting too hot. I get hot than sick and I'm down for the count. So, I headed back to the bus station and got my bus back to my car. Amazing how things change in 20 years! New bridges, new buildings, lots of new things. I never would have found my way around or found an exit... Bought a 5-day pass so I don't have to drive this week. Despite the heat, today was a good day!

New Drive

Okay, reborn! A night camping in the woods does wonders. Back at my hotel with New drive and new jobs to go after. Wish me luck tomorrow, I have a long day. I made some changes to my resume as well today.

Not Hiring!

Well, a manager at one of my follow-ups told me a different story, she said that they aren't hiring until late august. Basic tune I got from the rest. So, I drove up the hills and took a break. Honestly been crying all afternoon. Clear out of ideas! I'm down to the fast food and cashier work. The last time I did cashier work, I got robbed at gun point, not doing that again. Fast food isn't blow me, but that sure is scraping the bottom of the bowl. It's never been this hard to find work. I've struggled but always landed a decent job, enough to pay the bills. I'm pretty well devastated this afternoon. Hopefully, I feel better tomorrow.

Too Hot to Sleep!

It's been almost 4 weeks since I put everything in storage and moved out of my place. I've learned a few things. One: is to listen to my gut more and follow thru if permission is given. If permission isn't given, keep going until it is. In doing this, I found stores, businesses and even communities where I have to just keep going. Tomorrow, no plans have been given to me and I have tried to make plans for tomorrow and they fall into a black hole. So, I will set out to do 2 things, move out of my hotel room and follow up on a couple of jobs. Beyond that, well, I guess I will see. Two: is to let it flow, deal with my emotions while they live and find away to get past it. There maybe a new switch in me that gets me straightened out and allows me to move forward. Many of you will have no clue what I'm saying, but there are a few who do understand what I'm saying. I've always been this deep, put so much thought into everything and been so (everyone has their own word they use to describe me) stubborn, brazen, misunderstood, etc...

Can't sleep because its hot in my room and I hate AC, so the door is open for fresh air. I dislike AC in hotels, because they're LOUD and I can't hear what is going on outside my room.

The oil spill could really do deep emotional damage to me, because I feel so deeply. It does make me sick that the US and BP are more concerned with saving the reputation of BP over the enviroment and yeah the little guy is nothing more then a slave to help make big corp richer. BP taking their sweet time getting equipment to the golf to get this mess solved. And yes, the US not allowing the other countries to jump in and help. Damit we're the first ones on the ground when they call, allow them to return the favors. I applaud the communities along the coasts jumping in to get what they can done and telling the EPA to shove it for being to safe after the oil is in the water. The news here SUCKS, so I rely on a friend over seas to feed some to me.

Thats my rant for tonight.

Barking Dogs!

One must walk more then usual to find out what shitty shoes we own. I packed about 6 pairs (not including 2 pair of hiking boots) and after an hour or so in either of them, the dogs-r-barking!!!! I just spent an hour trying on real shoes and the dogs-r-barking. I found one pair of sneakers that are perfect, but I wasn't looking for a pair of them. The guy helping me found a pair of high-end italian shoes (on sale) and they fit great, but they're ugwy! lol My Burks are shot and my softts are for the suite I brought. Down to $3.00 walmart flip flops and I can't job hunt in those. Wow! Right now, the dogs are barking too much to put anything on them. Actually no $ to buy any (cc only), but I sure needed to know what my options are on them.

Did a few follow-ups this morning and owners at one are back tomorrow. Not hiring at the others.

Have to move out my hotel tomorrow. Was hoping for a face-to-face today with the owners and was told they would be reachable today. I got bad info.

I know it sounds like all I do is bitch and complain, but I'm actually paying attention and trying to figure out a better way or at the every least a solution.

Well, time to figure out lunch! May just go back to room. Theres food there!

A Good Day

Well, the morning started out lousy, but it went uphill fast and I actually got some stuff done. Ended up having an awesome morning. What's even better, it's getting easier to talk to people. :D

Questioning Everything

Last night, I had a plan all worked out for today and this morning I'm questioning everything I'm doing and have done up to this point. Sorta depressing actually. Maybe the stress of being broke is setting in. It may seem like I've only been on this job search for a few weeks, when in all actuality I've been on it for 2 years. I've even attempted to start a business that simply went no place no matter the effort I put towards it. Its hard to start something when they are laughing at you. So, back to looking for work full time from part time and still nothing. Frustrating to say the least. Somedays I wonder where in the hell I belong. I'll do what I can today and hope for the best.

The cover letter was for a possible job that all of a sudden changed their tune and needed one to even get looked at.

Funny how it takes The Teutul's on OCC to get me laughing at their stupidity. Too Funny!

Saturday Blues

Well, yesterday morning was one of those days where I'm at the same level as 2 millions others, the thought process of being complete & utter failure at everything I try to succeed at. I did my laundry, spent too much on lunch and came back to my cheap motel room. Not fighting any of the stuff I'm feeling, simply allowing it to flow. By late afternoon, I was able to get a huge task done that I hate, writing a cover letter. They are the most difficult letter to write, because it has so many variables; make sure personality comes through, ability to do the job and professionalism. Crazy! As I look at it this morning, it needs a bit of adjustment, but it's good enough to use for other businesses with a few changes. Glad I got it done :)

Job Search "Road Blocks"

Well, it has been interesting to say the least. You used to be able to walk into a business and ask for a job and 50% chance you would hear from them. Then, the applications were taken and held for a time period and you might hear from them. Now, you apply for jobs online and probably a 10% chance of hearing from them and some businesses want you to give them full access to your credit report before even talking to anyone. Now, I'm finding that you may leave a resume, but don't plan on doing a follow-up with the business, because so far I've found that managers do not take phone calls from anyone expect from the boss or venders.

So, all methods of looking for work has been changed to a point where the world is one Big Fat Unknown on figuring out how to find work. Worse, is not knowing the reasons why an able body who wants to work is never even called for even a simple phone interview. Both frustrating and confusing. I'm aware that I'm one of ?# who are applying for work, but not having something set up to confirm resumes have been received is lazy business. Out of the several dozen I've sent out, I've gotten a single (1) confirmation.

So, that leaves me with this one question; Has the employment status fallen back to "it's who you know!" ?

Thoughts?

Nature

Not much to report. Job search continues, tricky when not applying online.

June Weather

Well, snow in mid June and we must be living in Colorado. I missed the snow on the "local" route heading north today, but the mountain tops were showing a lot of new snow. It looked so smooth from here I was, it could easily be a couple of feet worth. It's the mass moving week to Telluride for Blue Grass and I hope they packed their long john and parkas, because that area will get some snow tonight. Oh well! We need the snow, if you can believe that. Last month was SO hot that all the rivers are running over thier banks. So, new snow will replace some what melted too early, too fast. Have a good week!

Pretty

Moo!


Disappearing Mountain!!

High Skys

Places to live! Why?

There are places where people live because they know no other. There are places where people live because family moved to the area. There are places where people live because it where their college is located. There are places where people live because it has opportunities where "home" does not. There are places where people live that offers the best location for the sport of choice. There are places where people live because the kind of work they do is only offered in those places. There are places where people live where the spirits pull them towards. Where do you live and why do you live there? In Colorado, there are ski towns by winter, tourist town by summer. Towns where a form of mining still goes on. Towns where colleges is the main attraction. Towns where people gather after a long day out on the fields with the herd. Towns where no matter the weather, there is no way they will move away. There are towns that are now great cities with traffic, bus lines, people on bikes, and even a few flying kites. So what makes a town a place to move too? Is it the coolest place on the planet? Is it the place to ski? Is it the place to go to school and never leave? Is it the town that offers one a real chance at life with the abundant opportunities available? Is it a town high in the mountains which allows you to hide from the outside world? For most of my life I have moved to places "where it felt good" and that is all it offered on the first glance. I have moved to places where I hoped to make a life after college and found that the jobs simply disappear into thin air. I've moved to places because a man wanted me along and ended up worse then where we just left from. Lady's Don't Ever Move to a place because a man wants you too. You make Dam sure you can make a life for yourself when he cheats on you or simply leaves you there. I am in no way against men, but some of them can't sit still. One thing I learned was if he cheats on you once, he will 100% do it again. Anyway, back to where people live. I've been searching for my home for what seems like years. Home is a big shoe to fill. Home has to have more then one item inside. It has to have more then "because it's a cool place" or just a "place where my friends are". It has to have these and many more. Moving to a town has to be where a life can be built and with luck build a successful business. There has to be many things that fuel why a person lives where they do. Where am I moving too? Well, can't say that just yet, but I am working towards a town for all the right reasons, with the ability to put more items in the shoe from day one. Look for more pritures of travels.

Red Hill Pass

Campgrounds,

They are never boring. Yesterday at 5 and 6am, 2 separate folks opened their car doors before deactivating the alarm. Ooooops! So, much for being quiet between 10pm and 8am. I felt worse for the guy at 5am, he was really struggling to get it turned off. I was awake, but some weren't.

This morning around 3:15am, a car rolled on the interstate and hit a power pole. I heard a huge Snap and like metal bending under pressure. 20 minutes later, ALL of the 911 services are at the entrance with lights going. It sounded like a big branch broke and landed on somebody's rv awning, so I figure somebody got hurt too. I'm awake now, might as well walked out to the entrance to see what was going on and it turned out that the power line was down feeding the park. This morning, as I'm pulling out, I saw the line is still down and look to my left and see what snapped. It was the power pole itself, right in half. The transformer is laying on the ground. Picture of damages!



Off to my next adventure!

Sunrise Yesterday!

Better then yesterday!

Well, a good nights sleep where life never stops always helps. Today has been a better day. Up at the first lights of gray and an hour later I found a campground a mile down the road, hadn't got that far yet! So, I saw that as permission to try again. Headed back to party city, got a shower, did my laundry and thought about things. Dressed for success, but having an impossible time locating employment offices. Phone books are wrong, getting wrong directions. I should have just figured it out myself, would have saved about 90 minutes of time. Oh well. I have pictures, I'll get them loaded later.

No Camping!!!

That is the sign you see any parking area in Boulder County. Plus there isn't an established campground in boulder county either. I was going to cook my dinner I bought and there was another sign I saw off to the side "No fire grills and stoves" in the picnic area. So, You either show up with $ or don't bother. I guess they don't need me that bad, thats how I feel right now. Bummer, it has lots to offer beside skiing in the winter and t-shirt shops in the summer.

New Month

And waking up in a new town. A town I spend three summers in over 25 years ago. Interesting seeing it today and driving a car and not a bike. BTW, I was in really good shape in those days, I rode all over this town on my mountain bike. Only a small few would know where I am right now. Interesting to see what it offers me as an adult!

Trip

It may not look it, but that river in MOVING ALOT of Water really Fast!