Trying to Survive

Last night was a really bad night. I live in fear, depression, anxiety and I'm exhausted by it all. My family hates me, can't trust by three friends and I'm so alone. Please don't say mean things to your kids. Verbal abuse creates life long scars.

Surviving Narcissism & Real Life Struggle

Hello, it has been brought to my attention that I should write a detailed journal to publish later in life to show the work it took to heal, reprogram and learn to love myself to help others. That isnt going to be possible to do. Simply because Im unable to write down my thoughts when I want too. Im ok with that! I can say that leaving a "so-called" support group that is to help survivors like me has helped me a lot. The group leaders were practicing controlling behavior on what people could talk about. So, the abuse continued within the group. Maybe what I can do is bring to light the issues the survivor is dealing with either by choice or simply to just survive on this planet. The side affects from being treated or rather abused by a Narcissist are as follows: Low Self-Esteem, Low Self-Confidence, Extreme Self-Doubt, Second Guessing Everything One Does, Depression, PTSD, PNSD, Anxiety, Eating Disorders, Self-Mutilation, Drinking, Drugs, Sexual Abuse, Multiple Sex Partners, Multiple Pregnancies (or Abortions due to not being with someone who can Love), Unhealthy Relationships, Self-Sabotage within the Work Place and Relationships with Loved Ones. And sadly, lastly, Suicide. If I think of others, I will add them in additional post. These survivors are NOT Crazy or Nuts and don't want to be treated as such. What they crave is to be Heard... A survivor does not deal with one or two of the above, but rather half a dozen or more. There is nothing that can be done about the abuser, the Narcissist. But there is plenty of support that can be openly given to the survivor. The reason why I use the word "Survivor" is because that is what we are. So, the way I see it, everyone on this planet has a responsibility to self-educate yourself on Narcissism Personality Disorder.

Glad 2017 is Gone

Hello All

Its been a very long year, personally. Long story short. Discovered my mother was a Narcissist and I've been emotionally, verbally and financially abused by her my whole life. I am now doing the work to recover, knowing it will take me years. After two months of trying to be the bigger person and let her comments "roll off my back" she noticed and upped her game. It got so bad that I was getting extremely depressed. She was ignoring me and telling lies about me to a point where I was forced to move out and go no contact. I had to start taking care of me. Learning that she thought so little of me and would never be able to love me the way a mother should brought tears to my eyes and broke my heart. This women I have devoted my life to help out never cared about me and didn't have the empathy to show me true compassion. Upon moving out, I was homeless for seven months with my doggy at my side. I have since found a place to live and a job. However the struggle to reprogram the years of abuse and nasty comments said to me continues. My Narcissist mom has since passed away. Will finish in a bit.