Happy Halloween

Last day of the month and possible new changes...

Got a job, than a 2nd one and back down to one. The first one just wasn't a healthy one for me. It would have disrupted my dietary needs and possible get hurt on the job. Waking up this morning just thinking about going into work at this one job brought me to tears. So, I had to do what is best for me and quit. Still working at the 2nd job, only a couple days this week, but it may change to 3 days next week. Which will allow me to find something else to do a couple days a week. It took me 4 hours to exhale the stress that had been building up from the 1st job for the last 2 weeks. Today is a day off and conserving fuel in my car.

Be safe out there...

Ran Out of Time

Well, didn't hear from my interviews on monday, so I called them on tuesday. One of them didn't have work until the 1st of November. Had to leave a message at another one and wait for them to call back. The 3rd hadn't been passed onto the owner, so no news on that one. 4th one gave me the polite brush off. The boss whom I left the message with, called me back and we chatted for about 15 minutes. The hang-up there was that my former employer wouldn't confirm that I drove. I applied for a driving job and needed that confirmation. So, have to wait and see if the other phone number I gave them would pan out. Yesterday, went to town and stopped by one of them and asked to speak to the owner of the manager and was told that they wont be in until Friday. Completely bummed, thanked them and left. Headed to the library to get some research done and while I was there, got a text. The awesome person who allowed me to live in their house let me know that I need to come up with money in order to stay in the house or to move out. I understood completely and closed up what I was doing to left the library before I started to cry. I'm out of time! Trying not to feel sorry for myself, but sure is hard. Wanted to dig in here for the next 10-20 years and it just fell apart. With only enough funds to get back to where my mom lives. Even though this whole was completely out of my control, I feel like a complete failure. When I first got into the area, it was to work for a certain company, but it never worked out. 4 weeks later (last night), I finally got a response to one of the 4 emails sent to the owner. He now wanted me to come work for him. I gave up on him a 3 weeks ago. He missed his chance with me and I'm out of time! I told he would have to put me to work this week or not to worry about it. So, the conclusion to the true cost of working with everyone else's schedule has put me on the street.

Joy of Cooking in a Kitchen

Saturday is the day for sleeping in and playing... Well, my cold-wet-nose kid woke me at 6am, for the 3rd day in a row. I asked her if she was getting me ready for a job that has an early start! She just looked at me and then her bag of food with the demanding look saying "Feed Me!" Yesterday, I managed to get some cheap food from the store and mixed some of the fixing from the food bank together, cooked up some Chili. Needed some chili spice and didn't spend the money at the grocery store, but stopped at a family dollar on the way home and grabbed a bottle of chili spice for a $1 for 3ozs. The store wanted way more money for smaller amount and the same ingredients. The meat is sliced Round top steak from the food bank and it cooked up nicely. Since the crock pot in this house is a fire hazard, I had to put all of it in a big pot and cooked slowly on low heat. I'd turn the heat up a couple of time to bring it to a simmer and turn it back down. The steak came out tender and easy to enjoy. The point I'm making here is that I'm finally getting to cook after several years of not getting to cook the way I like. It's been since the winter of 2010. I made enough chili to store some in the freezer. The food bank has some great home made soups that I can add too and expand. I have cream of mushroom and cream of potato currently in the freezer. I buy simple clean foods on a budget that allows my food to live in the freezer until I use it. I'm a fan of the store brand mixed frozen veggies, nothing added. It allows me to do whatever I want with them. Giving up the kitchen because I don't have a job will make me sad. Today, with all the food in the freezer, it allowed me time to take a closer look to the tv issue and discovered that it wasn't even plugged into the antenna. So, I fixed that small issue and ran the program on the tv to locate any of the free channels out there in the air. When it was done, there was 3 PBS channels, 2 of which are showing food cooking programs. No tv for way too long, so I'm watching cooking shows. haha

The True Cost of the "Hurry up & Wait"

Today is Thursday and I had 4 interviews this week. All of which I have to wait until monday or later to hear from. Two of them could work great together, if they both hired me. One of them, I think, is a seasonal job that could turn into permanent, maybe. The 4th interview, as it turns out, would only have work for me like twice a month. Meanwhile, I wait. Thankful for my place; I'm beginning to wonder if I can stay here past the 21st if I'm still out of work. Not being able to scream, cry, vent with anyone because it will come off as victim or emotional blackmail or whatever you want to call it is making my adrenal fatigue symptoms worse. So, here is where I do it! It pisses me off that I haven't found work by now so I can pay my own way. Looking for a bankruptcy attorney to remove my debt and force me to start from scratch on my credit, and it's actually clean. No late payments, etc... But not being able to keep that going because of no work, will force me to wipe it out completely. I would have to ask to be allowed to keep my car so I could get to work, once I found work. Fighting off the depression and self-pity is a struggle right now. A friend sent me some funds to help and they have. I've always been able to figure out a way to get my bills paid and support myself, but with the former employer getting in my way, cant even buy food for myself. My credit card bought my dog some food, which will last her for about 5-6 weeks. Did the dog food before the gift arrived in the mail. When I was allowed to move into this cute place, I was told that the neighbors are awesome people and would be great friends. Well, the sad truth is, they avoid me like the plague. I think they told the owner (my landlord), they were wrong by tell me I could depend on them for anything. I quit calling the full-timers for a just a meet-n-greet. They don't answer the phone or return my calls. The ones within view of my little house where I'm staying, hides if outside, just so they don't have to talk to me. It breaks my heart that I'm making a list of stuff to leave behind incase I do have to move out next weekend because of no work, because there is no room in my car for it all.

"We would Never hire this person again!"

This week has been interesting, to say the least. Monday, I had to beg for security deposit from the place I moved out of early to pay 3 bills. Yesterday, it was confirmed that a simple statement when people where confirming my last employment, that it was a Black Ball and making me unhireable! Today, I tried one last time to get in touch with a business owner to offer my services in expanding his business into a new market. I decided that I dont want to work for someone who doesnt answer emails or can be reached by phone. Time to look for work in other industries. Meanwhile, I'm down to the change in my pockets and having to figure how to get hired tomorrow on a cash job. Wish I had the brain who could multitask like hard working waitresses. I dont; therefore, I cant walk into any restaurant and wait tables. Fingers crossed that my security deposit will be available to pay bills next week. I've been bugging one of the jobs that could put me to work, but the black ball statement is keeping me unemployed and messages I've left unreturned. OMG, Work has to come my way!!!!