The recovery from abuse can be long and emotional draining sometimes, ok, most of the hours while the work is getting attention. Huge break throughs can come as a whisper and sneak by without stirring any dust. Dealing with a narcissist can be exhausting, especially when you're aware of the game they play. The personal break through I had the other day was a slight breeze and took me 3 days to realize I had one.
A certain person called me a liar in their own special way. I spoke with an associate about a common issue we were having and they laughed and said that they spoke with her, implying I couldn't have. Its good thing I ask her to call them the next day to tell them the same things so it wasn't coming as hear-say from me. The break through was exhaling the stress from the insult and accepting myself and knowing the truth. The slight breeze was the exhale which took the stress, mind games, self talk and defensive behavior.
This morning, the whisper came as laughter witnessing the selfishness of the narcissism at work. The printer stopped communicating with a certain program on the computer. The only thing I didn't do was reboot the computer, because I wasn't sure that would fix it. Nothing could get printed and let them know last night. The response I got was they know how to fix it and will take care of it this am. When I spoke with them this am, I asked how they fixed it, they said they rebooted the computer. I was floored, but didn't say a word. Because I know the truth... The revenge was being told that rebooting the computer would fix a different type of office equipment, but it didn't. Because I knew from pervious conversations with IT that the computer couldn't fix it, because it was separate.
This whisper inside the slight breeze in a break though in healing and quieting the mind is knowing the truth and knowing that you no longer have to scream to be heard and make sure they hear your side. Simply knowing the truth in your heart is enough.
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