Where is Happiness

The past couple of months I've been trying to make some serious improvements in my life and I find that something huge knocks me off my track and leaves me feeling gutted. So, I'm a bit confused in the whole process of self improvement these days. I'm left in tears by the curve balls that keep getting tossed my way. I can't even appreciate the good things I have around me right now. Yes, I'm blue! I keep trying to get my head into a really great place so I can really embrace the awesome things I have around me and I end up coming out at the end of the day more frustrated about everything and that leaves me emotionally exhausted. I need a good cry and I will probably have one tonight. Really confused right now, because I really want to be HAPPY with everything around me and something is just keeping me from becoming successful in my heart & head. It may be self-doubt, it may be external, can't seem to put my finger on it. Clueless!!!!! Update: my day went better, but would like to be able to embrace all the awesome things. I guess time will tell. One of the things that confuses me is that the more I try to show myself I'm worthy, the people around me I worthy and those I encounter each day that I'm worthy, the more it seems that I mess up. It may be too much pressure on top of current pressure! If I left things the way they are, then I don't move forward in my personal life, I don't more forward in my career, I stay stagnate and that is not what I'm about... Scratching my head!!!