Well, Spring starts tomorrow and the flowers are starting to push out of the thawing ground to touch the sunshine. The air is warmer and days are longer. And the fancy aroma of frozen snow thawing and uncovering the delightful presents from our beloved pooches. The time for fertilizing the yards to help them become green sooner.
The heaviness of daily struggles works to break apart so the spring flowers can break though, but this ground seems to be a bit harder packed. Some fear of a early quick thaw from the winter snow pack that everyone has gotten over the past months, because that means swollen rivers and creeks. Some of those rivers and creeks have already peaked several times and left its mark of damage and increase the struggle to rebuild and reopen businesses. Some who are already unemployed and also hit by mother nature showing her abilities are feeling pretty down about now. Rain is a welcome thing in areas who haven't received much snow this winter and not in areas who have received more then they need still receives it.
Life is an uncontrollable intangible thing. The only thing we can control is our choices. That isn't a small word. Choices include everything from getting out of bed, what to eat, what to wear, route to work, which bills to pay, which flowers to buy, where to plant the spring bulbs, how to wear our hair, what movies to watch, what music to listen to, who to date, what to buy at the store, what to feed the kids, what bills get more money this month, right down to what we will be doing 3 seconds from now.
My life has been challenging at time, to a point where some would give up. I don't even know where I get my strength from, but I sure wonder why I have to be tested to the limits I am. I get so tired of being unhappy and depressed sometimes because I can't get anything to work out, no matter the choices I make. I'm not a materialist person by any means, my life is simple by choice, but it's hard on the spirit to go wondering if I will ever get a job or be able to support myself. Sometimes I get so tired of crying myself to sleep. I research my jobs or even possible business choices and listen to my gut on jobs that look like fraud. My nails get chewed, grow back and get chewed again from the stress. Despite my strength, I'm a complete mess with no idea how to get myself straightened up. Faking it my whole life hasn't done me much good. If I'm not needed, then I'm completely lost. This place is my only real outlet because my friends don't need me unless its a good time form them. Despite my words here, I'm in descent spirits today.
I'd like to let my bunnies run around outside today, but the yard has been fertilized by the home owners. Everyone enjoy the Moon tonight!
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